Most people are planning to retire during some point in their life. So what are you going to do after the full work-a-day week is over? Many have plans to travel to those distant far away places always dreamed of yet never time to go with their beloved ones, some swear they will sit and do nothing for awhile, some say more time alone and then there are those that just want to get out of the rut of their schedule.
If you are retiring, your schedule will no doubt be drastically different and you will find you and your spouse will have a lot more time to pick and choose your days and eves at will. At the same time you will find there is not the “space” you had from another as before. For example, you’re both home often and at the same time. This is new, this is unusual. Do you like it, or not. There is a lot of free time now, the kids are gone and what is there to do? What is fresh and new to talk about? Where is the excitement?
Divorce statistics for the over 50’s continue to rise steadily. It has been speculated that the most common triggers for this are children leaving home or retirement. Couples start to feel they have nothing in common any more and marriages that have lasted for 30 years or more are coming to an end. Don’t become another statistic.
For a successful plan of retirement, it is always good to have a plan of action set individually as well as together. After all, you have spent a number of years working hard, raising kids and this is YOUR time to enjoy and look back at all you did and move forward in time, with a bigger and even more exciting plan.
For a good plan of action, each person in the relationship needs to have his and her own goals set as well as some mutual interests that are truly dear to you both. This can be any number of things and the best part of this is that the world is open to your imagination of wonderful ideas. Sit down together and help one another look at what each of you individually may not have yet done that you want to do individually as well as together. This is a terrific way to plan another chapter of your life with your spouse and to keep the sparks really flying.
The last half of our lives together is one which will be only as exciting as we make it and continue to be a team. The excitement will also come from respect and admiration to one another, care and consideration and helping one another to acquire that new skill, helping your spouse attend a class he/she gave up years ago, or whatever it may be.
More important than anything will be communication. There will be issues which may come up which you never vented or voiced before. There is more time together now and you both may find yourself wanting to open up about these points. By all means, to have a relationship with some spark, you will most benefit from an open and honest communication but at the same time you need to be a sincere friend and maintain “all ears”, while some topics may not be to your liking. Be a true friend and let one another grow in this new era of your lives. The last half of our lives can be tremendously exciting as well as a learning experience.
Most adults state they would never trade what they know now for those young and wild years. These experiences we had are what makes “maturity”, has many benefits and a key point in being a wonderful spouse in a relationship is being there for your partner in all of life’s stages and going through the rest of your lives, hand in hand kicking up your heels.
Tina Turbin
