Posts Tagged ‘retirement’

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Wednesday, December 15th, 2010

Marriage after Mom-Hood

One of the challenges you’ll face in “life after mom-hood” is with your partner. Divorce among couples with “empty nests” is extremely common. Believe it or not, raising your children has been part of the stable foundation of your relationship, something you two shared in common as a goal. Just as you yourself will need new goals, so will you and your spouse. You two should decide on something to create together, a vision as ambitious as starting the business you always dreamed of or as ordinary as Friday Night Date Night.

Life after mom-hood is something you’ve been looking forward to for some time now, after all. You deserve to make it as rewarding as it was raising your children!

Tina Turbin

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Wednesday, September 1st, 2010

The Importance of Goals in Marriage

Make sure that you and your spouse have individual as well as common goals. Just as you personally can feel lost without knowing what your purpose is or having something worthwhile to pursue in life, so can your relationship suffer without goals to strive toward. Name your goals for how much money you’d like to retire with and vacations you’d like to take together, for example. In making these goals, your imagination is the limit!

 

Tina Turbin

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Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

Volunteering to Increase Life Span

     You’ve probably heard me talking about the health and longevity benefits of volunteering. Now people are asking me how to get started. First, volunteer at a local organization doing something you enjoy that you feel is important to the community. Studies show that people who volunteer at two or more organizations have a forty-four percent lower death rate than those who don’t volunteer at all. These results are comparable to the effects of exercising four times a week. Not only are you helping others, but also, just as in exercise, you’re boosting your body’s immune system with your good works. As someone who cares passionately about women’s issues, family issues, and children’s issues such as kids misdiagnosed or children’s literacy, it wasn’t hard to find several organizations to work with. Find something you care about, whether it’s reading to children or elderly care, and you’ll be able to find work which will bring you a high level of satisfaction. In no time, you’ll find yourself actively involved in activities that will improve your health and will help others!

Tina Turbin

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Wednesday, March 24th, 2010

Discovering Yourself in Life after Mom-Hood

     Who are you, after all? Many moms tend to identify themselves as—well—moms, of course. Twenty-four hours a day, that’s what you’ve been doing for the past couple of decades. A full-time job once meant nine-to-five to you, until you had children. Then you discovered the definition of full-time, or should I say all-the-time? Why wouldn’t you call yourself the post title of a job you hold all the time? As a supporter of women and mothers, I know how important it is to take on this identity as a mother and I applaud any woman who does this. However, it is also important to have your own identity apart from motherhood. 

     Perhaps you have a career aside from being a mom, or maybe you have a hobby or two, or you might think of yourself as a strong woman who likes to help others. It can be a whole activity you do on your own or a few adjectives that you use to describe yourself—you as yourself, not just as a mother.  Not only does this help during your state of mom-hood, as you’ll find it easier to recharge on your own now and then with some personal time apart from the kids (kids don’t want Mom stressed out, trust me—they want you to enjoy yourself from time to time), but also I found that this helped me immensely after my children “left the nest.”

     After mom-hood, I blossomed more than ever as a woman, launching a successful children’s book series, researching and illuminating important health issues such as gluten-free and celiac disease, and participating in humanitarian efforts such as improving children’s literacy. These are things that make me who I am, just as being a mother will always make up who I am. The satisfaction from meeting your own personal goals is a gift every mother deserves to give herself!

Tina Turbin

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Thursday, April 9th, 2009

Keep Those Marriages “Sparked” after Retirement

Many baby boomers are planning to retire at some point in their plans not too far off. So what are you going to do after the full work a day week is over? Many have plans to travel to those distant far away places always dreamed of yet never time to r go with their beloved ones, some swear they will sit and do nothing for while and then there are those that juts want to get out of the rut of their schedule.

If you are retiring your schedule will no doubt be drastically different and you will find you and your spouse will have a lot more time to pick and choose your days and eves at will. At the same time you will find there is not the “space” you had from another as before. For example, you’re both home often and at the same time. This is new, this is unusual. Do you like it, or not. There is a lot of free time now, the kids are gone and what is there to do? What is fresh and new to talk about? Where is the excitement?

Divorce statistics for the over 50s continue to rise steadily. It has been speculated that the most common triggers for this are children leaving home or retirement. Couples start to feel they have nothing in common any more and marriages that have lasted for 30 years or more are coming to an end. Don’t become another statistic.

For a successful plan of retirement it is always good to have a plan of action set individually as well as together. After all, you have spent a number of years working hard, raising kids and this is YOUR time to enjoy and look back at all you did and move forward in time, with a bigger and more exciting plan.

For a good start, each person in the relationship needs to have his and her own goals set as well as some mutual interests that are truly dear to you. This can be any number of things and the best part of this is that the world is open to your imagination of wonderful ideas. Sit down together and help one another look at what each of you individually may not have yet done that you want to do individually or together. This is a terrific way to plan another chapter of your life with your spouse and to keep the sparks really flying.

The last half of our lives together is one which will be only as exciting as we make each it and continuing to be a team. The excitement will also come from respect and admiration to one another, care and consideration and helping one another to acquire that new skill, helping your spouse attend a class he/she gave up years ago or whatever it may be.

More important than anything will be communication. There will be issues which may come up which you never vented or voiced before. For some reason, now that there is more time together you both may find yourself wanting to open up about these points. By all means, to have this relationship have that spark, you will most benefit from an open and honest communication but at the same time you need to be a sincere friend and maintain “all ears”, while some topics may not be to your liking. Be a true friend and let one another grow in this new era of your lives, as the last half of our lives can be tremendously exciting.

Many Baby Boomers sate they would never give up what they have learned and where they are at in life to be a teen again. The experience we have and own which is what makes up “maturity”, has many benefits and one sign of maturity is being there for your partner and going through the rest of your lives, hand in hand kicking up your heels.

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